Recently I've had a coincidentally high number of conversations with friends, coworkers, and assorted random strangers about driving in South Florida. Driving down here can be a nightmare- often a frustration, and sometimes downright deadly. And perhaps the latter begets the former- being as dangerous as it can be in South Florida to commute, it's no wonder it's a frustrating excercise, nevermind the delays normally inherent in any trip. Of course, the frustration is exacerbated by poor driving, but I'm getting ahead of myself here.

not South Florida, but it might as well be.

It should be noted here that it's no secret the highways and byways of the tri-county area have a notorius, if not infamous, reputation. Road rage is a serious problem here, and often it's not easy to make sense of it. But the Rules of the Road themselves should not be, and that's the dirty secret that gets so little attention. South Florida seems to be without a cohesive, accepted method of driving. When I visit other parts of the country, regardless of the volumes of traffic, the behavior amongst the majority of commuters is markedly different. And by markedly different, I should say refreshingly different and a bit depressing, realizing that your hometown has the worst drivers ever.

By "Rules of the Road", (and yes, I do believe this deserves a little capitalization) what I mean is the acceptable, real-world behavior that should be exhibited on the highway. And it shouldn't be tucked away on a critically-acclaimed, hyper-intellectual, near prophetical online publication that makes grown men weep, either. In fact, in googling for this entry, I was amazed at how little I found in the way of actual competent instruction on driving behavior, and when I found it... it was horrible.

Restraining itself from publishing anything aside from the actual legal code itself, our fair state outsources the embellishment of common sense to a commercial concern, and that concern well, isn't very ... concerned. Aside from warning you at the top of every page that it has absolutely nothing to do with any real government structure, it does nothing else to actually instruct you on proper driving without a full-on sales assault. At one point I actually felt as though I would not see actual content related to proper driving without getting multiple rate quotes for car insurance. After dueling with the site for a few clicks, I finally found the page I was looking for. And then I wept.

Who really reads this, aside from the person who wrote it and the person who wants to tear it apart? Allow me to direct your attention to such gems as, "Road conditions are typically excellent, but not always" , or the brilliant "VisitDiscoverAbroad.com for a quick look at some of the more common signs " because you sure as hell won't find this site wasting it's time showing you. My personal favorite is "America is famous for its interstate highways "  because apparently it's important to point out the popularity of our highways midway through describing how to drive on them.

About.com makes a better attempt, but not by much. I was happy to see a page dedicated to expressway driving, and many of the points are incontrovertible. I suppose the source of my frustration with this piece is that some of the most important points of driving are lumped in with other, less important ones, without any real discernment between them. For instance, the idea that expressway traffic will be traveling at or near the maximum speed is a great point to make, but is lost on why it's mentioned. It should be stated that traffic flows this fast, so you better flow that fast, too, not just so you can enter and exit safely. One of the biggest frustrations on the road isn't fast drivers, but extremely slow drivers. They hold up traffic that ends  up causing a backlash of congestion that can extend for miles. And that leads me to another lost point.

Lane selection. "Drive in the right lane and pass on the left. If there are three lanes, use the right lane for lower speed driving, the left for passing." Wait, that's it? Can we please see this printed eight times on this page in classic geocities layout, instead of stuffed in a bullet point that's shared with other information? This point, in the mind of this humble blogger, is perhaps the crux of most issues concerning congestion in South Florida. If slower drivers stayed in the far right lanes, and didn't pick the left lanes as personal VIP lanes, perhaps traffic would flow more efficiently. What am I'm saying? Perhaps? How about definitely. There, I feel better.

Lastly, it should be mentioned that tailgating is a particular hazard that seems to be commonplace in South Florida. This too, sadly, is addressed in a lackluster manner, given the same amount of attention as the instruction to use headlights when it's dark. "Rear end collisions are the greatest danger on expressways" and a little drivel about stopping distance. That's it. No mention of exactly how dangerous following too close can be, or even the mention of the term "tailgating". 

After seeing how poorly the Internet has taken up the mantle of instructing drivers to drive, one might wonder, "Why do South Florida drivers need more guidance than drivers in other areas?" This, I would postulate, has a great deal to do with our transient and immigrant populations. WHOA, don't think I'm about to get all bigoted here. What I mean by this is that everyone brings their own version of the "Rules of the Road" with them when they get on the highway. If you consider yourself a conscientious driver, but you come from a country that deals with traffic laws in a completely different manner than the United States does (and many do), then you are going to clash when you first hit the streets here. Even if you are just from another part of the country itself, you may not be used to the volume of traffic in Miami, and being thrust into I-95 traffic at rush hour when you are used to driving in Montana, I'm sure, can be quite nerve-wracking. With so many people moving here or merely visiting, along with the already large and dense population, the roads of South Florida are, if you will excuse the pun, an accident waiting to happen.

This is why simple, common-sense, and pragmatic driving rules that teach all us fish to swim in the same direction are so important. South Florida is what New York was in the early decades of the 20th Century- a rapidly growing, melting pot of different cultures. And all of those cultures like to drive. Perhaps there can be a single "driving culture" developed, and maybe, just maybe, it can be a little less idiotic.